Oh Buggah!

Okay. So I'm several weeks behind in posting. I know. I apologize. For one, my camera broke and needed to be sent to Canon for repair, but that's really no excuse since the pictures from the next few posts were taken before my camera broke.

That said, I've come back with a vengeance. This post has it all -- partying, dancing, drinking, shopping, and even a Debbie Downer sighting -- so read on!



After much ado, Ingrid's friend Evelyn arrived in L.A. fresh from a whirlwind around-the-world tour. Ingrid and Evelyn became good friends when they were housemates in Spain, where, after hearing such wonderful stories about me from Ingrid, Evelyn dubbed me the "Little Japanese Shit." Ever since Ingrid and Evelyn left Spain, Evelyn has been traveling the world. She just returned from Japan and this was her first time in the U.S., so you know we had to show her a good time.

The first stop: Primitivo.



Annie escaped her firm and the dearth of Century City to join us for some fun.



Evelyn is Austrian (just like Ahnooold) but learned English during her study in London, so she speaks with a funny British accent. This prompted extensive discussion about differences in terminology between the two types of English. I think it all started when we were trying to decide what to eat and Evelyn said, "I'm not fuh-seh (fussy). Anything is fine." Fussy? While certainly a word well-recognized in the States, it was not one we typically use in conversation. Neither is "Smah-sheeng! (Smashing!)" or "Bri-li-yunt! (Brilliant!)," which, over the course of the next few days, I would integrate into my vocabulary, complete with English accent and all. Ingrid also recalled a phrase Evelyn to repeatedly while they were in Spain -- "Hawv yoo gohn mahd?" I doubt Evelyn knew it at the time, but from this point forward, I would be speaking with my perfect (or according to Evelyn, horrendous) British accent. Oh buggah.



We all shared some stories and laughs. And Christine shared a view of her bra.



The next day, after Ingrid and I both got out of work, we headed over to Christine's, who hosted both Ingrid and Evelyn during the time Ingrid's house was having work done. Of course, after spending a year in Japan, some Japanese custom rubbed off on Evelyn and she came bearing gifts (plus, she knew Ingrid would have had a conniption if she came without presents). Ingrid got two lovely shirts, some Japanese socks, a coin purse, a Prada keychain, pens, notebooks, etc. (Ingrid really loves presents), and the Little Japanese Shit got some lovely socks and a pen.



For dinner, we headed to La Serrenata in Santa Monica for some upscale Mexican food and, of course, some tasty margaritas. Mmmmm! After spending an entire year in Japan, Evelyn's palate was really shocked to experience bold tastes and Mexican spices. Having had a margarita (or three if you're talking about me), the girls did a quick clothes change and we all headed out to the Sunset Strip. Smashing!



With no set plan, we just made pit stops at The Standard (where Evelyn claimed how "shchyoopid" Americans are for enclosing a woman behind glass for observation by "drunkahds"), Saddle Ranch (which features mechanical bullriding, to which Evelyn commented "Hawv they gohn mahd?!?"), Skybar (that American establishment with a "shchyoopid arse" for a bouncer...Ingrid just made fun of the bouncer who's name was DJ and kept calling him "Door Jam." Very fitting.)...



... and eventually the Argyle bar...which Evelyn agreed was "Excellent."



While we were there, I had to give Ingrid the good ol' frog lip kiss. She loves that. And with that, the frog turned into a prince and we all headed home.



The next morning, the Prince took the girls out to Beverly Hills and grabbed breakfast at Urth Cafe. Ingrid donned her new pair of aviators, compliments of her brother. Take it easy, badass...



Hey Evelyn, I have a confession to make. I couldn't let the last of your sandwich go to waste. So I ate it. And it was good. Smashing!



Of course, no trip to L.A. would be complete without a stroll down Rodeo Drive.



And what's Rodeo Drive without Prada. Here's a shot of me stuck in Prada (one of the very few shots we were able to snap without alerting security). This Prada store sucks and as a result of my visit, I won't let Ingrid shop there anymore. First, they wouldn't let us take pictures. Second, they don't even allow you to touch the merchandise! Third, they followed us around and were watching us like hawks, every single step we took. Don't they know Japanese people buy Prada? Maybe not Ingrid's people, but definitely my people. They were so rude and imposing. Ingrid was sooo annoyed that she actually suggested we spend more time in the store just wandering aimlessly and having the workers follow us around. She even wanted to do figure eights around the store to see if they would follow her every move. If you know Ingrid, you know that she would actually do this,... for hours. I told her that we had better things to do. So we left.



I asked the girls to pose for a shot here, at which time Ingrid tried to appear taller than Evelyn by positioning herself on the curb, with Evelyn on the street, but Evelyn's no fool and immediately caught on to Ingrid's plan. Here she's saying, "Do you believe this woman?!?"



Fine Ingrid. You want to be taller than someone? You can be taller than me. Ummmm, well, not really. But close.



It was a beautiful day so we decided to eat on the patio of Il Fornaio, where Ingrid planned on introducing Evelyn to the best tiramisu in town. Unfortunately, the waiter told us there were three dessert items that were unavailable, and the tiramu just happened to be one of them. Oh buggah! Ingrid was so disappointed that we all ribbed the waiter (who seemed to get a bit irritated) the entire time, and obnoxiously blurted out things like, "How can you not have any tiramisu?!?" and "If you have a sliver of tiramisu in the back there, we'll take it!" I mean we really gave it to the dude. He tried to pacify us by explaining that Il Fornaio was changing its recipe to make the tiramisu better, but that just resulted in me recommending that the restaurant should have finalized the new recipe before yanking the old recipe off the shelf. I think the waiter finally had enough when on his next visit out to the patio Ingrid said, "Did you find any tiramisu yet?" We thought he was just ultra-sensitive, but it turns out that just a few days before, four patrons of the retaurant fell ill to salmonella poisoning after dining on the tiramisu, and the waiter thought we were making fun of the incident. As a result, Il Fornaio decided to revamp all their recipes containing raw eggs. Needless to say, Ingrid wasn't pleased. Oh buggah!!



In a wonderful gesture of kindness (a type of kindness which I can appreciate), Evelyn purchased a bottle of Moet for the table. Ahhhh... before that day, I couldn't say that I've ever had a bottle of great champagne on a sunny Saturday afternoon. To the good life!



After lunch, it was time for some shopping. Evelyn tried on this dress, which Ingrid secretly coveted. Ingrid swore she's go back to the store and purchase the dress for herself later, but as with many things Ingrid proclaims she will do, that never happened.



The next stop was Anthropologie, and while the girls shopped, I walked around and tried to entertain my boredom. As you can see, I was quite bored.



That was until Ingrid tried on this beautiful silk shirt. Man, she's so gorgeous. I'm such a lucky man...



Fancy lighting...



We headed back to the car to prepare for our big evening of fun, but has to stop and pose with Spidey. Please note that I'm sporting a pair of Shockers.



After another pit stop at Christine's, we headed to Hollywood and Highlands for some club action. The place was rockin' from the back all the way to the front where the go-go dancers were groovin'... not that I was looking or anything.



For some unknown reason, Tom Cruise was guest bartentding that night and fortunately for us, he was really generous with the alcohol.



Sporting the brand new shirt I bought her, Ingrid began sipping on her cocktail, just as I finished mine. Slow poke!



Still sipping... But looking damn cute doing it.



During the entire time Evelyn was in town, she kept asking for a "Martini Bianco," and the response to her request was identical - no one knew what she was talking about. According to her, a Martini Bianco can be found everywhere in Europe and was her drink of choice while she was there. Unfortunately, we here in the States don't have such a drink. We only have vodka-cranberries and these silly pink vials of syrup... so enjoy!



I'm fully loaded. Time to dance. And dance we did. For several hours. The good thing about this particular club is that although no alcohol is served after 2:00, the club stays open until about 3:00, allowing people to burn off some of that alcohol on the dance floor.



From the looks of things, there was some serious burning off of alcohol that needed to take place.



Agreed, Evelyn. Our time there was definitely worthy of an enthusiastic two thumbs up. Smashing!



Eventually, the time came for a breath of fresh air, or for Evelyn, a breath of fresh smoke. Shortly after this picture was taken, it happened... That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Debbie Downer was spotted. Here's the story.

After Evelyn finishes her cigarette, she heads inside to go dance, while Ingrid and I linger around outside on the balcony relaxing and chatting. We hang out for a minute or two, and then start making our way back inside. A girl who's clearly smashed passes the opposite way shouting "Wooo hoooo!" while waving a one-liter bottle of water in the air. She's swinging the bottle so violently over her head that a bunch of water spills out and onto my shirt (thankfully, Ingrid's in front of me at this point and only gets hit by a few drops). My immediate reaction is to say, "Whoa, whoa... take it easy," in a calm and cool voice. In response the girl stops, turns around and starts swearing at me like a sailor. You've gotta' realize that I've been totally cool with the entire thing. Never raised my voice. Never did anything but smile. And this is how she reacts? All I can say is, "That's not cool..." as I begin to turn away, but Ingrid, or shall I say Debbie Downer, has something else in mind. As the girl is cussing at me, Debbie Downer grabs the drink in my hand and throws the drink all over the girl WHILE I'M STILL HOLDING THE DRINK. Then, as quickly as it happened, Debbie Downer disappears into the crowd, literally leaving me holding the glass. The girl is drenched and can't believe what happened, and I'm so dumbfounded at this point, all I can do is raise both arms in the air and say, "Uhh... It wasn't me," as vodka drips from the emptly glass in my hands... Great. The girl (let's call her Girl #1) is soaking wet and turns psychotic at this point and so do her friends. My only saving grace is that one of her friends (Girl #2) saw Ingrid throw my drink and knew that I didn't do it. What I'm sure she didn't realize is that Ingrid's my girlfriend and not just some stranger getting me into trouble. This time, being a mixed-race couple worked to our advantage, as no one put us together. Anyway, Girl #2 is standing between me and Girl #1, protecting me from Girl #1 who is now flailing her arms violently in my direction, trying to attack me. I can hear her Girl #2 saying, "He didn't do it!" It's classic. Another friend (Girl #3) also saw Ingrid throw my drink and starts screaming like a cavewoman and heading in the general direction that the disappearing Debbie Downer was last seen. Of course, I can't let this happen, so I give Girl #3 the good ol' stiff-arm as she passes by, and she falls into the legs of some bystanders. All this commotion has attracted the attention of the girls' respective male counterparts who come and investigate. A perfect opportunity for me to make my exit. So I did. Whaaaa whaaaaaaaaaa!



The rest of the night, I found myself looking over my/Ingrid's shoulder to make sure those crazy girls and their boyfriends didn't spot her. Fortunately, Debbie Downer was never discovered. I did, however, discover some girl's shoe on the dance floor. Obviously, it was late... and people were hammered.



Evelyn met this guy, Joe, at the club who "struck her fancy." We all danced together at the club and then afterwards, he led us to a late night eatery in K-Town. He was a well-mannered Christian boy, and we all grew fond of him, but at 4:00 in the morning it was time to head home. What a night!



On Sunday morning, we all met up at Christine's and headed out on Third Street Promenade for some grub.



We ended up at Ma'Kai and I, of course, had some drinks before heading to work to put in some hours. Ingrid spent the day with Evelyn while I toiled away at the firm.



The two of them were kind enough to join me at Nick n' Stef's for some appetizers and more drinks.



I gave Darren a call to see if he could come and hang out with us, knowing that Evelyn's trip wouldn't have been complete without meeting the guy we all know as "Dirty Darren." Or as I like to say "Duuhteeee Daahren" just like the British do.



We all decided to stick our tongues out for the camera and as you can see, Dirty Darren's tongue instinctively trying to make its way down Eveyln's throat. So duh-teee!



My tongue also gravitated towards Ingrid, but she didn't like it. Oh Buggah!



Ingrid is weepy here because Evelyn pronounced that I was no longer the Little Asian Shit of years past.



One happy family... especially after a tasty meal and two good bottles of wine.



Okay, now get this... We call it a night and head back to the parking lot where Darren parked. As we walk up to the entrance, the attendants and a couple of security guards approach Darren and say, "Do you drive a white Toyota Camry?" I'm thinking, "Oh shit... Someone broke into Darren's car." Darren says, "Yes?... Why?" They answer, "You left your engine on." Oh my god. Unbelievable. This, just after Ingrid did the exact same thing a few weeks ago. I mean, what kind of friends do I have?!?



Well, we partied like rockstars that weekend and the stars themselves were in our favor.

We had a great time Evelyn! Come again whenever you so fancy!

Click here to see all the smashing pictures from Evelyn's stay.